Saturday, January 25, 2003
Whew. Tonight was an *interesting* night. Here's what happened.. *wayne's world-like fade*
So Glenn decided we'd throw a little back-to-school party. He invited Greg, Mike18, and Kristin. Well unbeknownst to me, but beknownst to Glenn thankfully, Kristin showed up with two other dudes. Cool with me, I knew one of 'em, just wasn't expecting such a rush. Anyhow, the night was well, I decided i'd stay sober being underage and responsible and all so I could maintain the peace. *BREAK!*
time for a commercial break:
Kristin and Grey don't get along because she judged his relationship once without knowing all the details of it and added a few slightly-inebriated comments here and there speaking totally out of her ass. Needless to say, Grey has had a thing for wanting her smitten since that very day. *chhchhhhshhsshh* *TV snow kicks in*
So everything was going pretty smooth the whole night, even my friend Christie showed up, unexpectedly and I was glad to see someone I knew somewhat well other than Glenn at our little gathering. She even brought her own beer! Lovely girl she is, but anyhow.. people started filing out and only Mike18 (plastered to the WALL, and still vomitting in the bathroom at this very moment for 2h 27mins and counting..), Kristin tucked under Glenn's arm, Glenn, and myself were left. Well, Mike18 started to look a bit pale so we decided he needed some fresh air. I took him outside to get some oxygen and left Glenn and Kris alone in the room. 15 minutes later I came back in to her glaring at me 'pffffffffft' at my entrance on top of it. So I looked over at her and bluntly stated, "I LIVE here hon" or something like that, but not in any particular tone.
She asked me if i coulda just waited like 2 more minutes. Heck, I didn't know I had to wait to enter my own room. So finally after 2-3 minutes of silence she decided she'd ask me why I didn't like her. *BREAK!*
time for a word from our sponsor..
Earlier in the night Grey told Kristin straight out "Ya know, I was thinking. I don't like you." Grey said this because he is an honest person who keeps his word. Grey told her long ago that if she ever fell into bad favour with him, he'd let her know as soon as the oppurtunity sprang up. *chhchchsksks* *cue fuzz*
So she finally had asked me for specifics, REAL specifics, and she REALLY ASKED ME. Well, I told her in length. She harpered on and on about something that happened a long time ago and used to premise "You don't like me because I wouldn't have sex with you" as the basis for her argument, the one that would follow in the next 5 or 6 minutes. Wow, can that girl cry! She asked for the truth, I told her, she called me an asshole, a bastard (you name it, she said it), and every other name in the 'book'. She got what she asked for, I see no wrong in giving a lady what she has asked for. But WOW! she even played wounded-soul in her 5-6 minute time window. She pouted and cried and tried to get Mike and Glenn and on her side and whatnot, and I just typed away on my computer not giving a shit about her at all. And why should I? Someone who seems to know a world about me and acts like it too is not someone who deserves my friendship. I am not anything special nor is she. Of course, that was actually the catalyst for her tears: "Listen Kristin, you're not anybody special, ok? Not to ME, not to ANYONE else who was here tonight. Get off your high horse and realize you're a human being lie everyone else and no one deserves to be judged like you judge them" or something like that. Apparently all those years her parents told her she was special finally took a turn for the worst; she realized they were lying! Oh, what a day, what a day. I am the world's biggest asshole.. probably. But I know where my priorities lie. They certainly DO NOT lie in a friendship with a two-faced, trampy, judgemental, talks-out-of-her-ass constantly freshman bitch who doesn't appreciate a damn thing. Either way, I've wiped my hands clean of this tonight and I've no reason to turn back or apologize. I simple stated the truth to someone who asked for that. I've had this argument with girls before, it's nothing new to me. They deal with it because they ask to. So if anyone sees Kristin tell her to deal with it. Am I evil? I don't think this qualifies as evil in the slightest. I'm just who I am. I'm Grey. Forever Grey. Until the day when the sun is back in my sky. Then I can feel something else, something I lost and forgot, and no one will be there to judge what they don't know because I'll have found everyone one of those worthless people and shut them out of my life.
Goodnight. I'm gonna check on Mike18..
Grey (5:10 AM)
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
Muhaha.. bAcK tO sChOoL!
Yeah, that's right, I'm back at school children. I have to say I had a fun little break. My last week home was greyt. My mom stopped being insane and I got to spend a lot of time with The Boobula (I love you). It sucked that Brad had to leave so early, butcha gotta do whatcha gotta do I s'pose. I guess when I have something to post I'll come back and such.
Grey (7:30 PM)
Tuesday, January 14, 2003
This morning I got a wake-up call from Sweden. My gal Serenity dropped me a line on her RSVP status for StefenStock 2k3. It's basically a gathering of the peepz from my mud here at my place to chat and stuff. Blythe and Glenn left here at 2am or so and I went to bed at 5 after playing Vandal Hearts II for 3h. Serenity called at 8:30 and I haven't been able to get back to sleep since then. I am so tired of life and am stressing myself out.
I just wanna be happy. I just wanna travel away from here. I want to take Blythe with me. I want my friends to come along too. She might even be going to Stony Brook this semester but probably still won't date me for whatever reason. She isn't going to date me and think she can fool around with other guys though, nuh uh. I am so tired and sick to my stomach of being miserable in the mornings. I just wanna be happy, however I have to achieve that. Maybe I'm just selfish. I know I'm stressing myself out thinking about it.
My mother has been pulling the same crap lately too. Every since Christmas she's been using the phrase "Stefen, you're stressing me out" just for no reason.
*mom walks in door*
Me: Hey mom.
Her: Stefen, you're stressing me out.
It's ridiculous. What the fuck have I done? I am not a horrible person. I may be selfish but that doesn't make me horrible on the whole.
I am just so tired.
I just want to be happy.
I want what I want.
Maybe that's selfish.
Well fuck you then.
I'm gonna talk to Andrea now then maybe attempt sleep again, though I know I'll fail at that like most other things.
Grey (10:02 AM)