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The Past

Thursday, September 23, 2004

I figured I'd make a post since it's Thursday and my computer is busy installing Chains of Promathia anyway. Nothing new has really taken place since whenever I last did something new so there hasn't been much excitement around the suite.

The first D&D campaign went well. I DM'd last Friday for five people and from the feedback I received, it was quite enjoyable. I suppose now I am the DM forever and ever until someone else decides they want to try it . o 0 (which won't happen)

Class has been boring as usual but I have been attending all of them and have been learning a great deal more about stuff I couldn't possibly care less about at this point in my life.

I have made a decision to move the blog to the next phase in the tradition of my own personal philosophy. What I haven't decided on is a new template but Joey T. has been grinding his teeth with me the past two nights to find a good one. I am looking for something with a design similar to this particular link. If anyone spies anything similar please feel free to drop me a comment or e-mail and I'll add a link to your blog somewhere if I feel it's appropriate. I'll start searching again shortly.

In the meantime I think I'll order some campus chinese food. Oh, and don't forget that tomorrow is GT Chicken Night you fuckers. Toodles.

Grey (7:19 PM)

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

I woke up on the bathroom floor soaked in some strange orange liquid. Fluffy was curled up on the seat of the toilet above my face. I had a major migraine and picking myself up off the floor I felt a sharp sting at the base of my neck. I must've injured myself somehow. Maybe I slipped on that stuff and hit my head against the tile wall on the way down. I didn't remember a thing but I grabbed the dog anyway.

I wrapped my head up in a large cravat bandage and tucked some towel-wrapped ice cube underneath it. I turned on the television and waited for the tubes to warm up. The dog ran to the window and began to growl at something. Probably the neighborhood kids I thought. I didn't like them either. I liked cheese though. So does Fluffy. I decided I'd get some out of the refrigerator and have a sandwich. We didn't have any bread so I made roll-ups instead.

Returning to the den to sit down I couldn't help but notice that the sounds coming out of the TV were anything but usual. Fluffy turned and looked at me and turned her head slightly and asked me if I felt ok. "Yes", I replied. "But I'm not looking to good." I took careful consideration to try and listen hard to my surroundings. Everything I could hear was jumbled and convoluted! The monster in my head pound against my braincap from the inside as if trying to break out. The room began to spin. I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom and lunged onto my hands and knees and crawled all over the floor looking for anything I could have taken to make me feel this way or anything I could take to relieve it. I felt a cold rush into my head and steam out my ears. The dog was barking loudly now but it sounded like a walrus eating cabbages on Tuesday and I could hear my heart beating like it would burst through my chest onto the floor unless I caught it on the way out.

Too many things were going on at once. I found a broken glass test tube behind the toilet and grabbed it in haste. I tore open my palm at the center and blood started to trickle down my forearm. As I sloshed upon the ground the mixture of orange and red came together into a thick, sticky paste. I pushed myself onto my butt and leaned against the wall. The melting ice cubes were running down my face. I was sweating cold bullets. I could feel my pupils dilated, struggling to stay open and grasp at light as a monkey would vines. Water was beginning to rise up to my knees. I must've turned the faucet on in all my madness. I looked down to my feet, now submerged and saw they were bound with barb-wire! A gag had been placed over my mouth and St. Augustine's church choir were standing fully robed, epistle-equipped, singing church hymns over the sound of rushing water, an annoying and low-pitched mutated dog bark, a gavel slamming against my skull, and the shrill scream my soul yearning for a release from the inside.

I passed out somewhere on the bathroom floor again. I woke up on the bathroom floor soaked in some strange orange liquid. Fluffy was curled up on the seat of the toilet above my face.

~The Epic Tales of Joggy-Smokey Lady, Volume 11

Grey (1:32 AM)

Monday, September 13, 2004

Having taken on a number of responsibilities lately I have been feeling somewhat smothered. But, I think that the number of tasks I have undertaken is good for me in some way. I thought to myself that perhaps this is really how not-lazy people live their lives. I take Glenn as an example of this. Most of the things I have been working on are unimportant realistically but good for the soul and add a bit of spice to my life as well as fuel my creative juices, blending them into an unthinkable form of art that only another such as myself could fathom. I'll type up a short list now just so I share my current interests with you, the readers.

- DM for an original D&D campaign
- Static FFXI parties for my BLM27, PLD61, WAR36, NIN19 and WHM28 (both on hold atm)
- Class/Homework for school
- Original artistry and map-making for possible use on SoA/D&D campaign
- Pirate and hi-share member on the school's DC++ hub (not so high anymore tho =P)

Future projects include:
- Possible concept designer for an upcoming MMORPG for nvidia (more on this much later)
- Owner of a SharkHat
- Member of InQuestion next summer pending invite (hooray music)

There are probably a few things I'm forgetting but if I can't recall them right now then they're probably not important. On a side note I think my keyboard is dying. The spacebar is acting really crappy these days and I will probably order a new one right after this post. Anyhow, for anyone wishing to send fan/e-mail again, I've got it working again now. I know it was a problem for a little while but the school's e-mail bounce server wasn't working totally right or I had the address typed in wrong or something. Oh, and Joggy-Smokey entry should be up by tomorrow afternoon assuming I find the time to devise a story to fill some of the previous plot holes introduced in the previous entry. Another guest entry will probably go up the week after next or so from a party to be named after the next post.

If you'd like to be added to my AIM/MSN buddy lists, please contact me via e-mail. I have had one complaint of not being able to contact me that way via e-mail recently and it is because I have a private buddy list and must add you first in order for you to contact me.

Today is a happy day because it is not raining and even though I've only had about an hour and twenty minutes of sleep I think I will finish my classes for the day and come back and study tonight during the well-placed FFXI update. The promise of classes off on Thursday and Friday and no class after 5pm on Wednesday is certainly helping to ease some of the stress this week. Everyone in the suite is very happy and on Thursday we'll probably go see RE2 in the theatre together. Maybe Glenn will even tag along being as he lives on the same street as the local Loew's.

Ok gang, take care and hang in there 'til I find more time to write crap for you to digest and such. Heck, make your own damn blog and send me the link! I like to read too you know..


Grey (1:57 PM)

Thursday, September 09, 2004
-*presynaptic hatred tool*-

I've been having a bit of trouble with time management lately so I haven't checked in all that often but I'm not going to apologize. Life is rough, ya know?

Earlier this morning I woke to the sound of my cell phone alarm somewhat happy just to be up to start the day as I do every morning at 8:45 sharp. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes pondering the right choices I had made up to that point and forgetting all the bad decisions that led me to make those particular choices; I was carefree. I sprang up outta bed and Fred mumbled something in his sleep which I ignored, passing it off as just that - mumbling. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and synthed my rusty caps in FFXI. I took out my very last pair of shorts wrapping a mental string around my finger to remember to do laundry tomorrow.

I took a quick look at the clock, 9:25, and smiled at the thought that I had five more minutes to myself before I had to leave for my 9:50. Things were going to be good today. I could feel it (much as how another someone has been feeling lately and I do promise to start the weekly Tuesday entries once I settle into my new craptastic schedule) in my temples and was almost certain that I could get through another day on 4h of sleep and no agitation.

I situated my headphones, slapped the pack on my back and started the long, but what thinkably seemed shorter than usual, trek to class. Peering at the sky through half shut eyelids due to the shining sun I took note of the fluffy clouds and almost clear blue sky. Upon exiting the main part of Kelly Quad and could see the bus stop. I continued across the street noting that a few people waiting there were in the psychology class I was on my way to (I don't take the bus since it's never on time and I wanted to be early so I could check on the computer before she started lecturing). As soon as I crossed the street though I felt uneasy, queasy, but kept walking. I looked toward the heavens again but this time my face was greeted by characteristic Long Island rain droplets, thick, sticky, and disgusting.

At this point I was only about a third of the way to class and turning back to the bus stop, kids were getting on it and it was about to pull away. I sighed and a young girl walking next to me looked over and sighed just as heavily right back. She may have said something but my music was much too loud to hear anything she might have had to say.

The last two-thirds of my trip are rather self-explanatory. My serenity had once again been shattered and that hooded sweatshirt my only comfort. Upon reaching Psychology A Room 141 I promptly found my seat. The TA was surprised to see someone so early. After a cheery comment I replied, "Well you'd walk fast too if you were this wet." I didn't come off snippy though, just slightly annoyed and certainly sarcastic so she smiled back and said she was sorry to hear about it. I dropped my book bag on a chair in the back of class and headed to the bathroom still wearing my rain-soaked garment.

I went into the nearest stall and wrung out my sleeves and hood. My shorts (my legs were also soaked) had been drenched through and my boxers the same. I would have to spend at least the next hour-and-a-half wearing these clothes, which were the last of my clothes for the week, sitting through a lecture in front of a computer screen, much like I do here in my room.

While the TA lectured on about the Methods section of the APA paper that would be due at the end of the semester I thought about how good I had felt about life just twenty-five minutes ago and wondered why that seemed as though it had happened some time much further in the past. I recalled having felt that same way once over the summer and how it rained that day too, and all over me as well. I remembered how much it sucked to lose a friend. I remembered my failed attempts to over-achieve. I remembered how wasted I was on hydrocodone. I remembered a part of my childhood I forgot about and I almost shed a watery-eyed tear. I remembered how much I missed the times when I wasn't struggling to keep my life in order. I remember the mistakes I had made just a few months ago. I remembered how I took the blame. I remembered that mom never supported me in anything I ever really wanted to do. I remembered trying to make connections I could never understand. I remembered how sad and lonely I am. I remembered that no matter how hard I try to finish something, that it will never work out. I remembered how much I hated myself for being the way I am.

Then I remembered I wasn't listening.
I'm just another dopeless hope fiend.

Grey (11:05 AM)



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