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The Past

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Bouncy, bouncy cricket dance

I kinda forgot exactly what I wanted to type about today. As usual, it probably wasn't anything fascinating or interesting, or even sensical. Now it seems also to have been unimportant as I can't remember it for the life of pie. MmM.. pie. Pie doesn't have a very long lifespan when I get ahold of it.

We're going to see ::Dave Chappelle!:: on November 13th. Funny. Black. Man. woot! Picked this ticket up after trading in others for some cash. The wallet still seems pretty empty at a whopping $2.87 total. Being poor doesn't make anyone feel humble. It just hinders our ability to buy quality chicken crispers at Chili's. Chili's has too many memories attached to it; it will be stricken from the record now.

I wonder if I own all the components of soap-on-a-rope..

We have a lot of beer today. I should've had more yesterday. But now there's plenty leftover for today. Incoherently feels numbing like a spider's belly.

Someone has to develop time travel fast. I could think of several applications for it at this present time.

I wonder if we got any donations yet. I'll have to ask Gulliver in a few minutes. Oh yeah, we need more money so donate! donate! donate! And to those of you who are poor you either are suffering a bout of misfortune, enjoy being poor, or deserve it. I'm one of the ones who deserves it. But my $2.85 is going to the fund. And I'll keep my 2 cents in case anyone needs some advice.

Never forget what happened, although it is probably more comforting to never remember instead. I think that's what I'm doing and it's poisoning my mind, my soul. Who am I kidding.. my soul left. My heart is in a back-pocket somewhere. I never took it back. Bah. I don't need it. I can breathe on my own now. Playing pool was fun - shoulda racked 'em up one more time.

I threw up the other day. I didn't think I'd be able to say it, but they're just words and anyone who knows me has already heard it from someone else anyway. I coughed up some kinda fleshy sac thing. Like a cyst or a growth or something. It was all slimy and gross. I thought more about putting it in a zip-lock bag and keeping it than the pain I felt after hurling it into the bowl. There was a lot of blood. I didn't pass out though, dunno why. Normally I would have but I felt comforted. Like a baby in a cradle upon a strong branch, unrocking, unwavering. I slept a lot and I woke with a headache - ibuprofen never kicked in I suppose. But my throat felt better, coated, flemy. So I coughed a lot but I didn't wheeze or feel esphysematic (word? spellchecker will uncover the lies!!!) [apparently too many lies for my taste, screw it].

New day. No meeting. I hope something good comes of this Sunday. I'm growing weaker everyday. I feel my pain overtaking me a small nanometer at a time. It's adding up and I don't have the energy to push it back any longer so it's just an un-choice of waiting it out, hoping that collision misses this time. I'm too weak without my friends and everything else I selflessly gave away to someone. Things will come round full circle for me. I like Circles. Perfect circles. In my head, all night long. I had many dream last night, none of which are worth sharing with blind eyes.

Grey (2:37 PM)

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