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This weekend was somewhat productive. I got a lot of work done at Glenn's house and sorted out some loose ends with various people, including my mother. I'm glad today. I'm not happy, but I have some kind of, not "renewed" per se, but rekindled "hope". It's not very good considering all the things that are going on in my head and body right now but I am dealing with it as well as I can be expected for the man I am.
I pledged things to myself last night. One was to never let anything get me down. I do not know how long or short my life will be therefore I will not spend it in a narrow ray of sunshine (meanwhile, I don't like suns much, but I appreciate stars *har*). I'm holding onto clever and sarcastic tightly. They've guided me through the worse and best of times in my life. They stood on either side of me, gripping my hands so tightly so I could never let go. I feel their grasp again. Last night was awesome. Everyone got together in the suite to watch the extended version of The Two Towers and it felt really good to see everyone getting along and being friends and stuff. I smiled most of the night, forgetting about all the maledictions in my life. Even Glenn was there; Rob was too. We had chinese food and enjoyed an awesome flick.
Nothing will get me down now. Take your sorrows and your pities for me and place them aside. Never forget the past, and what you've felt for me, of me, at me, whatever. This is for all of you. I may need those things again someday. Right now, I will survive, I plan on it, and I'm gonna do a damn fucking GOOD job of staying alive and beating the system(s). Don't stand in my way, you will be destroyed. You will be missed - Like cancer (thank you BM *cackle*).
Deal with me?
I do.
Deal with it.
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