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The Past

Sunday, December 21, 2003
-*Bled the last tear*-

Rip it down.
Shove it all away.

Tomorrow starts Guilty Gear X2 training again at The Break. *sigh* I don't want to practice again. I just wanna be as good as August allowed me to be. Our enemies shall become the victims of their own pride. Oh, and then several dust loops courtesy of Xerlic and Grave Digger corner juggles. Listen. Beat me once, shame on.. shame on..

*long pause*
Shame on me! Beat me twice, shame on.. shame on..

*mutters while pausing*
Listen, you ain't gonna beat me again.

I'm home. yay. not yay. whatever. Apparently, all the other people I hang out with in Rockland on a day-to-day basis are ALSO in Rockland County so that's a plus. It's still Rockland though so I'll be leaving again really soon.

Lotsa stuff going on in my life right now. Most of it is rather interesting. Actually.. ALL of it is. If only I could live one day in my own shoes, I'd realize just how screwed up everything is right now. Whoa. Hello squirrel wranglers. This isn't a life for me nor is it the way I wanna be.

The love of the other.
The sight of blood.
The pain of the stance.
The leg of rehabilitation.
The drug of sanity.

That's how it'll be this month coming up in a nutshell. For translations, click feedback, post something and try reloading. You should see the little box popup really fast. No, but really. If you care, if you know me, you'll know too.

In good news, I now have one, possibly two teammates for Final Fantasy XI. Xerlic will be joining up sometime this month and Gizmo@SoA is now a White Mage residing in Sand'Oria. We play on Titan server if anyone's interested. If anyone sees this. At all.


I kind of ..wish(?) I was on the island again, standing in the pouring rain. It's different there. I may not be back for awhile, but I'll make due with what I have until then. When I feel the rain hit my body in this thought, I remember a time in my life when I was very serious. I wrote some things on paper describing how I felt about lines and number theories. I wish I could read that again someday. I also recorded some tapes I've lost since that day. It is odd though, now, thinking about it. That piece of my life just broke off and fell into the awaiting pool of eternity below my floating waffle of a life. Maybe it got too brittle and it crunched right off. Perhaps it was full of so much syrupy knowledge that the nook caved in and oozed right off the rest of the pastry. I'm not really sure.

12 Stones once told me I was free. I believe them now. I've been broken and now the pieces have been reassembled and it's looking a helluva lot different than it ever did in the past.

This was the story of my life.

Each failure poses threats closer to the edge.
In a swift bout, I tip, fall over the edge.
Leaning ever closer over to see my friends and the inevitable
Exhaustion they faced each time we did this.
Everyday felt really long and never did I look back in love.
Never did I do anything wrong, not even this.

This is the story of my life.

Forever walking, never reading the signs I saw.
Regrets forgotten,
Events avoided.
Everyday now I look to the sun for that
Drowning out effect, a release from the old
Odors of what I left behind.
Maybe this is who I really am.

Greity of the masses, who is to say I am a hassle? Hrmpf. I'll settle this tomorrow!

Grey (4:46 AM)

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