Friday, December 26, 2003
-*Undoings and the casting of lots by the chains*-
If I could..
Why bother to finish that sentence. I could complete the lines a thousand ways and still have more needs to satisfy.
It seems so familiarly unwelcoming here at home.
All just so.. bleh.
Yeah, I got gifts today. No, I didn't want any of it.
What I want, I can't have.
What I want no one can give.
I would ask for piece of mind.
I would wish for my fleeting sanity to rush back to me. It has happily been relocated for months now.
For all those who have hurt me this year - fuck you.
To all those I have hurt this year - fuck you. Well, maybe sorry. I have a year-in-review post to make about those things.
Parts of me have grown cold and numb this year without anyone or anything to rub them warm again, to remind the blood within me that it must flow for me to be alive. I am already dead I feel. I might as well be on somedays. Tuesdays.
I will be dead one day and I hope that none will remember me for the things I have done - good nor bad. There are too many bad things too say at my funeral and not enough good things to fill up the whole time slot. I have a case of the defiant soul. That is, the life that the pirate leads. One of mischief, outlandish adventures, mind games, and most of all, loneliness. I will escape from here before any of you do. I will return to tell you of it, I promise. Keep thy minds and eyes open for you never know what ways I may become manifest to you.
Live through me. Learn through me.
Let me be the darkness you fight through so eagerly so that you may see the end of the tunnel that is your hardship. Speak unto me, find that word that will show that you and I connect and say it aloud tonight, or tomorrow night. When you think of me, what does your mind say? Discover the sense of will and projection.
Land upon the clouds of a new age and realize that there is more to life than stricture and politics. Be one with the wind, the earth, the water, or the flame of truth and leave the flesh behind. Be here, inside my mind and I will show you that which you never thought possible.
I am a mercenary.
I am a druid.
I have passed the tests finally.
I can control my mind and see beyond the sphere I exist in. I can bend you, touch it, and place it all in a little box. With this, I give you the Shadow of Two. Hah.
Be this the darkness that guides your path, for wherever it shall be, I will be watching, waiting for the return of the light. I shall swallow that whole and see the truth and share it with the world below my cloud. 11.
One for the time I fought.
Two for the light I saw.
Three for the waste of breath.
Four for the hearts believed.
Five of the men I've killed.
Six of the minds untouched.
Seven brings us colder days.
Eight beings under this roof of old.
Nine dreams of mystical warning.
Ten endings for the way of the words.
Eleven cast aside in disbelief.
You may fall into these lines. Perhaps even in between. Be the fourth of unstrung manner and you shall see me unfold. Place it in your pocket and remember the 27s. I shall not be the victim of latter days or saints.
Bring down the sewn.
Boast peaceful harmonies.
Draw swords to the east.
Deliver me unto the dissonance.
As per usual, no posting on the 27s. Be cool with yourself until then. Cast aside your doubts and silver dollars to boot.
Sleep well cherubs.
Grey (3:39 AM)