Sunday, May 23, 2004
Having reflected on my lack of patience I've come to realize I no longer have even the smallest drops I felt I might still be able to squeeze out, should I need it.
The MUD is dying.
Nobody cares. And don't pretend to now because you haven't been there the past 3, 2, or even this year. What about the last 10 months? 6? Anything? Nah, not at all. The staff has dwindled to about 5 active members now.
Those fools who play that other stupid MUD claim they can be wizards on Seasons and play there, and yadda-yadda. I gave two more fools chances last month, spent a lot of time talking to them, teaching them, showing them around, and for nothing. What do they care? What do I care anymore? I just want to finish my projects to perhaps get some satisfaction out of my self-appointed duties. But, then I realized that 'you know what? Even if you finish your 4 or 5 areas, you still have no MUD to open. Even if you finish your paladin guild idea, which sounds great to other ears, and your dark templar guild, and finish temporal mages, you still won't be able to open.'
So I'm finished. I no longer want to do this either. Am I working for something so useless now, actively, because I have nothing else to spend my time on? Yeah, probably. All the people that said they would care, should care, and maybe even tried to care all left. Most even went back to playing that other lame MUD. Yeah, and then they tag my board, e-mail me, and check our forums and ask me 'So Grey, when is Seasons going to be open?'. I'm never answering this question after right now.
WE AREN'T GOING TO OPEN BECAUSE WE HAVE FIVE FUCKING STAFF MEMBERS SO STOP ASKING ME. IF YOU WANT TO HELP, BE A FUCKING WIZARD AND DON'T DARE DISRESPECT ME AND THE REST OF THE ADMINISTRATION BY PLAYING ON AOD WHILE WIZZING ON SOA BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN, CHEW YOU OUT, AND THEN NUKE YOU. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ALL THAT OR SHOULD I MAKE THE FONT BIGGER?
That felt good then, but it doesn't anymore. You fucking people and your dumbass questions. Want to play a game with me they say, want to learn from me they say, want to try their luck with this they say. Well, guess what - everyday that passes is not one day closer to us opening, but one day closer to us shutting down due to lack of interest. If you wanna know the truth, YES it pisses me off because I tried to make the MUD an important part of my life for the past three years and I've seen all the people that 'cared' leave me alone and now I don't even know any of the staff there at all.
Don't humor me anymore people, I am sick of all of you who say you are trying to help, or will be there to learn from me. You people don't pay attention for more than five minutes then go log on AoD and forget about Seasons for months at a time, then log back in, wonder why you're no longer a wizard, and ask me why. I'll tell you why -
Worthless people. So, f'ing worthless. Stressed you say? You don't even know the HALF of it. Try feeling how I feel for a change all you people who say you're my friend. Never asking me what's wrong or trying to help me out. No, I didn't want your help because you were always so reluctant to give it to me anyway that if I had taken it you'd have regretted it shortly after. All fake, all of you who play there and try to wiz on my MUD. Whatever. Live your lives and do me a favour and don't ask me when the fuck we're opening because we probably won't.
Grey (12:58 AM)