Friday, November 26, 2004
In a shocking turn of events it has become apparent that through all the support and fake smiles tossed my way throughout the course of today, mother still expects more from me. Really though, I'm sick and tired of this shit. I have put myself into a position that requires her assistance and as nice as she was to compliment me on the idea and how well thought-out, planned, and organized it was, I still managed to disappoint her just enough to make a scene.
I've asked myself why she cannot simply accept certain things but I never come up with an answer. If I asked her she wouldn't know either. She might even become more upset with me. Damn her. It won't bother me now. I have time to mold the puddy-like end of my plan into something more favourable for me and my love. Time is both working for and against us but I am comfortable with this timetable for now. I feel unrushed and in the end I know I will better decisions because I had time to decide on an outcome for awhile. Of course I could always fuck it up (the voice in the back of my head says, "Don't fuck it up Grey."). I think everything will work out better than planned.
Now for the promises of triplet theory.
Prepare for phase one.
Sharing with me all that she is,
her body and mind and soul..
a spark of life within her womb ignites.
The time of the star will come to warm the planes of the moon.
life will being anew,
renewed by love and affection.
And bring us not to a time of grief.
we can do without new strife.
together we bring joy to the world and
Cannot we that struggle together, nullify together
the pain we feel deep within?
some have said no, but I say..
Grey (3:02 AM)