Wednesday, April 06, 2005
I've been thinking a great deal lately about the future and the past (less so). I wrote up a few small tidbits elsewhere, spatterings of ideas and whatnot, but I didn't feel it would be appropriate to share them myself. Nothing about negativity or anything our words that do not belong, simply a lack of order and things that would not make sense even to the most avid philosopher; they don't make sense to me even now re-reading them.
Something feels as thought it is missing now. As I said to Xerlic earlier, it's not a feeling of loss, but rather a feeling that I never had the one thing I really always wanted. Even more confusing is the fact that I can't pinpoint what it is exactly. What goal am I working toward now? I feel a distinct sense of lost identity inside now, as I struggle to maintain what little composure I have and slowly slip into the mold of society. I resist everything, but I'm not doing it on purpose. I just don't belong here. I know this and have never doubted it.
There are other things to say, but right now a friend of mind I haven't seen in a few weeks dropped by so I'm gonna go chill with him and shoot the shit. Take care.
Grey (11:21 PM)