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The Past

Sunday, May 08, 2005

A lot of things come to mind lately and many of them weight heavily upon my face. A star, a moon, and a hole. I know how big. Deepening wounds are closing up on the surface, but underneath, mending the gashes is not so easy.

I don't know exactly why I feel this way. Maybe it's because things ache inside. There is a feeling of yearning. Yearning for something to arrive. When will I have my come-uppance? My patience is tried.

It is tested.
It is failing.
Patience can wear only so thin.

It's almost 6AM and I am in pain. My mind aches, my body throbs and shivers. I keep a knowingly false hope that something, someone maybe, will wash it all away and bring things back to a level that I can handle on a daily basis. Still tasks hover overhead, looming above me, crushing me down into an unmanageable size in which I cannot grasp at the star the same way. The moon pays me no heed, ignoring all that was once a smile, a shudder of ecstasy, and a cry of joy.

Catch me now for I am falling.
I am but a shadow.
Deeper down goes the hole.

Grey (5:45 AM)

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