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The Past

Monday, August 08, 2005

"You always do this you know that?"

"Do what?" He said this, but as the words came out he knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Yeah I know. I know! Nevermind, ok?" That was about the best he could do given the situation. "I just wanted to try to fix it, but I guess that's not happening anymore huh?"

"No it's not. And you know that you asshole." Her words were harsh but struck a true chord. He blamed himself for the whole mess but really, looking back at it all, it wasn't his fault. Her words were thick with blame and he couldn't resist the way her long hair curled ever-so-slightly at the ends just in time to fall gently upon her face, adding just the right amount of 'hot' to her bright green eyes.

She threw her arms halfway up in disgust, and tossed the train schedule on his bed. She sat down on the pillows and leaned against the headboard to her left. She began to cry, seeming as though she wanted to have it all back, but couldn't bare to try and mend it. He looked at her and wanted to sit beside her and rest his head against her shoulders and tell her it was going to be okay, but he knew it wasn't. Instead he stood there silently, thinking about yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that one. No. No this wasn't happening! Not again..

But yes it was.

Suddenly Mia sat up. "I'm leaving. Don't follow me. Here, take these back. You wanted to own something, then here you go." As she spoke she unfastened the necklace and tossed it into his gut. He caught it, flinching. Instantly he started crying. She didn't look back as she stormed out of his room. The door slammed but it was the breeze blowing in from the open window by the bed. He fell to his knees and clutched the necklace in his hand.

He cried. For how long he didn't know, nor do I. What's certain is that he cried. When he felt like he was done, he crawled toward the bed to lie down and saw the train schedule. He almost tore it as he wrenched it in his hands angrily. Just then he opened it. Circled on the inside was the 5:48 departing from Suffern. He looked at the beads, each one he remembered distinctly, and what they stood for.

Was there a chance to save it all. He thought. But Jacob, that never solved anything before. You have to move. He got up, looked at the beads again, threw open his door, and ran. And ran. All the way to that train station he ran.

~Seven Times Once, Chapter 19

Grey (2:13 AM)

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