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The Past

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Two days late is better than never I always say.

My mental functions seem to be breaking down as well as my keyboard. Which reminds me; I must order a new one after this post or after I study after this post. Or something. Anyhow, life has been seeming more stressful than usual because the semester is getting along, but after taking this really silly stress test, it turns out I'm not as stressed as I thought I was. So psychologically, while I am aware that I am still indeed stressed, the results of the silly test that stated otherwise have caused me to fall back on them and agree that I must not be as stressed as I thought I was or think I am or whatever. I'm not smiling about it or anything but getting through the day isn't as hard when you aren't struggling with the world. So I stayed in today. That usually helps ease the pain once every three or four weeks.

Life often seems as if it is an unchanging routine adorned with exams and quizzes every so often, both academic and worldly. Having had to take an introductory psychology class this semester, I felt as though my education was actually regressing. The class format includes no tests of any kind instead replacing the midterm and final with a group project. My group just "completed" the first project, by which I mean I just completed the project and my grade was less than desirable to say the least. I had a chat with my professor about it, trying not to insult her method of teaching a freshman class, from a senior's perspective. She agreed that the situation I am in, that is, with a lack of motivated post-high school students (I won't call them freshman--that would be a compliment), will not bode well on my grade. Long story short, I got my grade bumped up some ridiculous amount and dropped my group and joined another group with a bunch of really motivated students who all got A minuses on their midterm project.

Personal stuff is definitely lacking as of late. I don't know what I did to destroy my personal life (as if there ever was any anyway). Actually I sorta know what I did to one person, but apparently making up for it won't happen so I've just about given up on that. Though it could turn at any time if that person were willing to talk to me and listen to what I had to say. Eh, whatever. My life is full of enough things I don't like and trying to correct them all would take quite awhile; time I really don't have to spend/waste.

Talking about FFXI is boring so I won't bother. I don't even like thinking about it anymore when I'm alone so I'll just skip it.

About the story..
Yes, because I know you all would rather hear about the story than about my life anyway (me too by the way). I'm not sure if anyone really copies them into text files and tries to read them in order, but if you do, you might see where the story is coming from. Jacob, who isn't a very observant guy, doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about the things he should think about. Something you might not notice until later on (and I'm sort of reluctant to give away) is that there are strange time gaps between the chapters of unknown amounts of time. Well, sometimes you know the amount of time between events, and sometimes you don't. Why is Mia's story, the one she speaks of in Chapter 16, so bland? I don't know. Maybe you were expecting some else? No it's actually quite common crap, because the characters are common and make the same mistakes everyone else does. They put their two cents where it doesn't belong, they talk about other people to each other behind their backs, they generally hate the world but they don't know why, because it's not like anything bad has ever really happened to them. People are a victim of their own circumstances and choices sometimes, so the characters will be faced with the same--tribulations brought upon them by themselves. Sucks for them, don't it? Anyway, post coming up probably... I wanna say... this weekend... but we'll see. Hang in there.

Grey (11:00 PM)

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