Tuesday, January 31, 2006
"But why babe?"
"Because Jacob that's the only way!"
There was a long pause as tears started to well up in her eyes. She couldn't take it anymore. She wanted to have it the way she wanted it and she just wasn't going to settle for anything else, not after all she had planned and saved for. She gave a quiet sniffle then continued after a short sigh on the other end.
"You have until Wednesday."
And with that she hung up. She clutched the necklace, rotating the center bead slowly as tears rolled down her face and between her breasts. She stood up and tossed all the crap off her bed and threw herself face-down into a pillow to cry. She thought about why she had to be like this. She knew she was being stubborn but nothing inside her would shake her foundation on this matter. It was now or never.
For Mia, love was an empty word. She didn't know what it was, but she knew she felt it. She didn't know how to deal with it, so she clutched tighter to what she had to make herself feel better. Her mother loved someone once; she wanted to ask mom about that, but she wouldn't. She had to find out on her own, do everything on her own. Be independent, be strong, find a path and stick to it.
"I hope he comes. He better come. I don't want to be alone." She said this all while looking at the cat, who was too busy licking his paws to care. He looked at her, then jumped on the bed, wishing to be stroked from head to tail. She obliged, flipping over, but inside it didn't make her happy, it would only please the cat. If only she were so simple to please. She thought about that for a moment.
"My knight, Francis. My knight." The cat started to purr as she stroked a little harder. "He's a good man and a strong one, valiant, and he'd save me." As she said this she sat up, puffing her chest out like a queen on her throne. "Bah what do you know about chivalry Francis? You're just a cat. Get away." She shoo'd the cat off the bed and plopped back down on her pillows.
She got up to shake her bank a few minutes later, remembering her clever plan. She knew mom knew and she knew mom wouldn't stop her from leaving. All those talks about becoming a woman, growing up, being someone who she wanted to be, all led Mia down a path to wanting to be on her own. But not on her own, with a man, one that pleased her not because he actually pleased her, but because she liked dick. Obviously she was a slut and she could admit this to herself, but what others thought of her was none of her concerns. No one could hurt her if she kept it bottled all in! "Genius!", she thought. Yeah, really smart.
She put on her pajamas and called Jacob back. She began with a "Hi" and it quickly turned into an apology. They spent several minutes rediscovering why they liked each other and it quickly became apparent to her it was because Jacob was easy. Easy to love, easy to fuck, easy to coax into anything. Did she care? "Not really," she thought. "All men are easy."
"Jacob?" She approached this with a drifting tone.
"Yeah babe?" She loved it when he called her that.
"I love you."
"I love you too, babe." She just wanted to hear it before bed.
"See you tomorrow."
Tomorrow was just the day too--Sunday. Oh how she loved Sundays. She would get up at 2pm and go see Jacob or go to the mall for an hour for no reason at all. She didn't have to go to work anymore now that she'd save everything up for months.
"I could try a little harder", she thought. "Nah. He's trying hard enough for the two of us." And in her self-acknowledged denial, she fell asleep trying to decide whether her blue jeans or her new skorts showed off her ass more.
~Seven Times Once, Chapter 11
Grey (2:47 AM)